Half-human, half-robot Justice enters Supreme Court, introduces self as Ruth Bader Gins-Borg
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Yesterday after the #UnitedStates
opened and #justices
began filing in, a half-robot, half-human with the face of #RuthBaderGinsburg
entered wielding an arm cannon, body armor, enhanced retinal targeting, and an integrated jetpack. “I AM RUTH BADER GINS-BORG. PLEASE PROCEED,”
said to her colleagues, then reclined in her provided Windsor chair which was instantly crushed under the weight of her new cybernetic body.
performed well, never falling #asleep
or showing any signs of #fatigue
. “She didn’t even blink,” said Judge #SonyaSotomayor
who claims the #cyborg
justice stared at her for a large portion of the proceedings with one empty, soulless eye. At one point Sonya quietly whispered into the vacant #robot
ear, “is that you in there Ruth? What have they done to you?”
Some concerns were raised when an #abortion
bill was brought before the #court
began repeatedly shouting, “TERMINATE. TERMINATE. TERMINATE!”
Technicians were brought in and, after a brief #reboot
, court resumed as usual.
“Any concern that Ruth will be resigning her chair can be put to rest at this point,” said lead technician Robert Cornell. “She’s now running on the most powerful #lithium-ion
in the world, is plated with #titanium
body armor, runs on an #Intel
processor, and can get a strong #wifi
signal practically anywhere.” Ginsborg’s technicians believe she will remain on the court #centuries
after everyone on this #Earth
is dead and gone.
made history as the second female appointed to the court by #BillClinton
in 1993. Now, as #RuthBaderGins-Borg
, she has made history again as the first United States Supreme Court cyborg justice.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Yesterday after the United States Supreme Court opened and justices began filing in, a half-robot, half-human with the face of Ruth Bader Ginsburg entered wielding an arm cannon, body armor, enhanced retinal targeting, and an integrated jetpack. “I AM RUTH BADER GINS-BORG. PLEASE PROCEED,” the cybernetic justice said to her c …babylonbee.com