According to a statistics done by German #Aerzteblatt only 51% of all German males are into giving oral sex (#Cunnilingus for straight and #Fellatio for gay/bisexual accumulated) while 56% are into receiving (#blowjob ) it. While for females it is even a little lesser, 48% are into receiving it while 45% are into giving it. As it seems, also lesbians are counted in here, but are a minor compared to straight females.
So far I can tell that there is no "disgusting" or "unhealthy" thing on giving Cunnilingus (in English, licking #pussy ) simply because I have done it a lot on many different women and so far no tongue or throat #cancer has happened to me. And yes, beside that, there is no "fish shop" down there for me.
I like to ask the whole #Fediverse about this matter. Is that true with you? Disclaimer: Do not come up with some religious-nonsense or other hatred/disapproving/other nonsense here. I'm asking for a Yes or a No and if so, please more details (being passive/active).
I just found this 4:28 long video clip on #Youtube (I use a proxy here) where a lesbian was giving "great romantic advice" to heterosexual/straight men. When I finished watched it my first impression was being shamed by that lesbian. As she continues, she dated a "straight" woman (maybe bisexual?) who was easily impressible by some "common sense", like looking into a woman's eyes, asking her about her passions and "going down" (means giving correct #Cunnilingus )to her.
As I can only talk about myself, I was blocked with my emotions towards my now-ex-wife as she constantly blames me for expressing emotions by smiling at her or showing her a sad face. She was was always asking: "Why do you smile/look sad?" Well, isn't the answer obvious?
And about flowers, she was very picky about it: Blue roses only! Not red, as red could express love to her but no: blue! Blue is a cold and technical color, it doesn't express love at all. Okay, her "taste" (or blame on me?) I guess.
Then next #Cunnilingus. She said we don't know or go down on our women to less. I can easily say "No" to both! I know how to lick a woman, not on first try but after some attempts #multiple #orgasms come (not guaranteed, of course!). So if you want to know the "secret" 5 Top rules, here they are:
But first: A good minimum 40 minutes long foreplay, but don't let it become boring! When she wants you to lick her, go over there immediately. It can go like this: For the next 30 minutes kiss her from top to bottom, but avoid and only come dangerously close to the vulva. Then repeat it within 15 seconds. Breath hot air on her clitoris. Only slightly touch it with your tongue.
1) Gentleness and slowness. Start it slow and adapt to her personal desires/preferences. 2) Do as SHE likes, that includes positions, patterns, speed and intensity (pressure of tongue on licked area). There is NO universal licking pattern! 2.1) Positions: clitoris, outer/inner labia, vaginal entrance (is stimulative), vagina/pussy (requires pushing again the vaginal wall), dam (and Anilingus, if she likes it) 2.2) Patterns: Vertical (bottom to top), horizontal, cycle and inverted-v-shape. 3) Non-verbal communication. Talks interrupt the Cunnilingus, non-verbal is easy: stroke his head (as a being licked woman) when you like it, release the head when not. 4) Variation in 2) during regular licks: find out what she else likes, only 35% can ONLY be stimulated at their clitoris. 5) When it comes to orgasm, keep all 4 in 2) constant (no variation is wanted here then)
This is basically it. So no blame here (even in a "stand-up comedy" show), but straight out neutral and general instructions on how to do it.
So when a lesbian thinks she licks better than straight men, then sorry sweetie, but you are selfish! You are a woman, too, not a man. Sure most men go down immediately to the clitoris and remain there (rule 4 is broken then). And that, of course, needs being corrected.
I cannot put that feeling down so I have to write it down here.
I have met some #vegan people some months ago and started befriending with them, including females. I also met one female who was some attractive to me. She later told us that she likes to go to the gym to work-off on a 2-day scheme which is for me quite a lot.
Then on this Wednesday I met them again and we went to a vegan restaurant called #Unterwegs here in #Krefeld. So far all went nicely. I had a talk to her again as I took her outside the restaurant and told her that we are both not fitting because (she told it us, too) I'm no #sporty guy and I don't do #hiking or #camping but surely in a healthy (non-hurting way) which she agreed with. So we remain light friends with no relationship. She also told me that she had one for 3 years and doesn't want a new one for the next year(s) which I told her is not what I look after (I'm on full scale of looking/"flirting"). I also have an account at #okcupid , please try to find me there.
Later we all had some discussion about not just vegan but also about others, like having on children. I think I brought that topic up because I have a little daughter on my own (biological daddy) and I showed some pictures to them (both girls). They later told me that they don't want own children but prefer to take adopted children instead which I cannot truly believe. They called it egoistic (?!) to have own children when you can adopt one. They asked me if I don't like children which I told them that I do but more I love my own.
We had a really (good) argue then later and she (other woman) asked me to name 5 reasons to have an own child over an adopted ...
I later explained to her the stages of being pregnant and what it means (in my view) to a pregnant woman to feel, like having a living body inside your own, feeling its heartbeat (later stage), movements (kicks against stomach must be awesome feelings!) and giving birth, feel the labor (contractions of #uterus , a very powerful muscle) , feel the turn around with head downwards and feel the body pass through the #vagina and seeing the first hairs (birth hairs) coming out and later let her boyfriend/husband cut the umbilical cord. Then (most best of it) the first initial screams (which are really required) of the newborn and late carry him/her in her arms and let him/her drink from breasts.
They still disagreed with me to have own children, even after this! Maybe they cannot image it? Well, maybe Mr. #Chaplin can explain it: "We think to much, we feel to little." Or don't you thin ... eh, feel?
So that previously long explained was in real a bit shorter, but still truthful as I experienced it (first birth ever). So why do I have written "The most beautiful way to get pregnant" in title? The simple reason is that I want to have a change of heart in people and I want to explain here my way of #seduction when it comes to #impregnation of my love partner (still none, keep all your thumbs pressed!). So as I'm a #Libra my dominant planet is #Venus which is also known to be very hot and as #ThePlanetOfLove .
So how would I do it? Sure there are a lot different approaches, starting (worst) from unwanted over unexpected (to early but wanted) to fully wanted (best) and places to get #pregnant by your boyfriend/husband (in view of the woman), like #romantic #sunset at the #beach (hide very well!), #holiday house with a romantic #fireplace but if it happens in the #kitchen while she is washing the dishes, then well ... it happened.
Well, my way is much more different here. In advance (of her very last day of #menstruation ) I would inform her best friend about my plans (she is then fully adept/privy!) as she plays a supporter role (no main role, of course ... ). On her (girlfriend) pre-last day of menstruation I would kindly ask her to visit her friend or something other creative to have her left the apartment for some time.
At the grocery I would buy tea candles, the florist would be requested to collect as many as possible red rose leafs (you can guess it by now!) and at home I would hide both somewhere. I know, women are good in finding things when they shouldn't but my goal is always worth the risk. Then comes the "magic" day when it should happen, that she becomes pregnant. At that day her best friend will "suddenly" ask her to go with her to grocery/shopping/walking or whatever is nice but has nothing to do with #pregnancy .
Meanwhile, I'm doing the "magic" at home: throw the rose leafs all over the ground (and some over furniture) so it looks really lovely. Then distribute (with good care) the tea candles and also lighten up some smell candles (just to have a nicer/romantic smell in our rooms). Then I would quickly make the already existing baby bed (I still have it!), means make it look nicely and put some leafs in as well and a small and short love-letter to her (prewritten). Next I will get undressed quickly and go to bed and wait there for her on my side (also some leafs on bed).
When she returns back, her girlfriend will tell her (before entering the apartment alone) that she should open the door carefully and slowly (so the leafs will not move). When she comes in and sees the lightened candles and leafs, I guess her heart is already melting a lot so maybe she asks "Darling, where are you?" and I would reply "In bedroom, my darling." The next then she will see is maybe the baby bed or me naked first. If not the bed, I would kindly ask her to look over there ... Having no feelings here is impossible, unless she is #lesbian or #emotionless . And I guess she would already "know" (better sense) what is going to happen next.
Next might be one of the following things, but always a really good (30 minutes minimum) #foreplay . Then maybe a really excellent #Cunnilingus or #sex or #Fellatio as the main act. But when it comes where to impregnate her then there is only one position left: she bends over the baby bed, sees it being empty and knows the baby that will sleep there in 9 months is currently being "made". So she moves maybe the right leg up (so her pussy widens and lips open). I then have to hold it so I can really good #fuck her.
Yes, you read right: fuck not "make love"! Sexual therapists keep saying it: After a good foreplay, don't make love, fuck! Simply because "making love" means "school-girl sex" and that means no/very less stimulation. How boring, huh? Yeah, go and fuck her! And that is never without #love !
Okay, I may print this and bring it next time to the vegan activism meetup ... Wish me luck in convincing them (not impregnated by me, of course!!!) to change their hearts.
Back to the topic. I'm not sure the description of your personal perfect impregnation night would move anyone else but yourself. Because for me this plan omits the input from its most important part: your partner. You are assuming a lot of things from her that may or may not prove true.
In particular, the part about having sex over an empty crib is particularly disturbing to me personally, and if it is so to me, then it probably is so also for some women out there.
Furthermore, impregnation isn't guaranteed even if you are targeting the fertile window of her menstruation cycle, which I don't believe starts on the last day of periods. Which means the "perfect night" may not produce the intended result that will only be available several weeks later anyway, which kind of ruins the concept of a "perfect night".
To sum up, as with all fantasies, it is yours and yours only and is unlikely to match with reality, and this one should probably stay in your head, unless you desperately want to sound overly romantic at best, like a creep at worst.
Yeah, maybe it was a wild #fantasy after all. Just to give you some background information, my then girlfriend, no separated wife got pregnant at the first day she arrived here in Germany and that was before (!) we got married (a few days later). So the "perfect window" for impregnation was 100% matched. That thing with 12-14 days after first menstruation day or at her very last menstruation came from different sources. First was from a woman I met occasionally. the second from my memories, I guess I read it somewhere. The lay down roses and candles was an idea "stolen" from a Youtuber "Sascha LKW Fahrnuenftig" who is a long-distance truck driver and his girlfriend prepared in such way their home before he came home one day.
So I put everything up here in one big idea. You can call this #fantasy which I already tagged this post with. Thank you for clarifying it to me that I made a nice fantasy.